lakeeffectkid:

honestly.

heres the facts:

• last semester i did way way worse than i did in my 1st two years at uni and ive done no design work at all these holidays so im assuming ive gotten worse still
• i have no where to live
• i will have to work part time which means i wont be able to focus on my assignments as much as i need to anyways
• apart from a select few, very few, people, my university is filled with snobs who think/know they are better than me and its not a nice environment to be in. incredibly harsh on my already low self esteem.
• you’re probably thinking, “well if you cant handle that then you wont be able to cut it in the real world design industry” and youre right. i wouldnt. which is why i want to quit now.

on the other hand:

• i havent seen my student loan balance lately but im gonna guess it at around the $25,000 mark. at the very least. so quitting now mean ive paid all that for nothing.
• i will be a drop out. no qualifications, no interest in doing anything else, because design is the only thing i know. ill have to work in retail under assholes like Ryan for the rest of my life/until i decide theres something else i might be good at
• my parents will not understand. theyve poured so much money into my education and i couldnt bear to disappoint them with something this huge.

so basically. im screwed.

no matter what i do, i end up unhappy. what the fuck is up with my life.

i wish i could just not care about any of it and drop out and go live in spain. but my conscience is too big for that.

i know i could just take a year off, but honestly, soooo many people become designers, so why would anyone choose to hire the girl who took 6/7 years to do a 4 year degree. this is what i mean. i wish i could just stop thinking about all that and do what i want :(

the time it takes to finish a course doesn’t affect an employer.